I am taking time for myself. To reflect, to create, and to do what I set out to do nearly 6 years ago. That is release an album, build a band, play a release show that will give everything I have to give. As I start that process I am going to only focus on that part of my life and making it public. To start though, for my healing on the journey we’ve been on for the past few months, I’m putting together some music, art, and video of my witness to the siege that took over the Twin Cities. My experience mainly being within Minneapolis. My home. Some songs that I wrote that came out of expelling the energy I consumed while being out there. It seems like everyone around me has done a protest song or music video, while I sit here and contemplate on what to do next. Being out in the streets nearly every day for the first two months took a toll mentally. I won’t say physically because I feel damn good after all of that walking, sometimes running (from), and being on high alert. The nervous system not so much and that is why I need to focus on my passions. I will not let the world be the dictator of my life. Pun intended.
As an incredibly oversensitive empath and artist, I need healthy ways to vent all of this. The old version of me would have turned to the bottle and numbed it until there was nothing left to feel. But that only worked for so long. Seeing the Springsteen concert two nights ago, and witnessing the power of art and music in protest and activism, only deepened my resolve to not be quiet. I truly believe that mindful complacency is complicit in some ways. And while there may be a bit of a lull in the storm right now, I feel deep in my soul that this is eventually going to get worse. This feels like a good time for all of us to collect ourselves, reflect, and regroup. Not that anything has stopped, because it clearly hasn’t, with all the amazing community efforts, rapid response, and donation drop offs and deliveries and I’ve already attended my first training on Voter Defense for the upcoming midterms.
It’s been three months since things heated up, and I’ll say this: going through more footage and pictures brings it all right back to the surface. I often criticize myself for not doing enough or wonder what I could have done better, but this saying always resonates with me: ‘a movement is built by a chorus, not a solo.’ So I feel, for me, it is time to recharge my energy and focus on things that give me joy. Maybe going through endless footage of our community being abused by federal agents isn’t exactly joyful, but it gives me the energy I need to continue. It is going to be an interesting tightrope to walk, that of activism and living your life the best you can under the circumstances.
We are going to be processing and living with the trauma and the aftermath of this for years, especially those who were in the direct line of sight or who still live every day with the fear of being targeted and detained. This is not over. The smoke may have settled, but the fire is still burning.
ALL Power to the People!
**The song in the video is “No One Notices” recorded with my bandmates from Seattle, John Isenhart and Eric Gudgel. Releasing soon.
